Stop Destiny Swapping
and Reclaim Your Life
Whew. Let’s talk about something I’ve been seeing way too often lately - something that has been sitting heavy on my spirit during meditation this week: destiny swapping.
If you haven’t heard the term, here’s the quick version: destiny swapping happens when someone starts pulling on your energy, your gifts, your life force and starts trying to live out your destiny instead of their own. This can happen consciously or unconsciously, but either way - it’s a problem. Mainly because it highlights what happens when someone is so disconnected from their own power or so dissatisfied with their life, that instead of doing the deep work to heal & align with their true path… they try to siphon energy from someone else.
A lot of us have been caught up in these kinds of dynamics:
✦ Ex-lovers who never truly intend to let go. They refuse to breakup/ get divorce or make the process hard to remove yourself from them. This can be through the fact that you still share children with them, and they use the children as an excuse to stay tied into your energy. Yes, that happens. They use co-parenting as a loophole to keep pulling on you. Or they keep tabs on you via social media, mutual friends or by trying to live out your destiny by projecting the energy they stole from you and pretending it’s their own (I’ve personally gone through this and it is in fact jarring & hella ghetto)
✦ Family members who lean way too heavily on you for emotional, financial, or spiritual support. Family who manipulate, gaslight, belittle, or even verbally and physically abuse you. These behaviors erode your willpower, your connection to self, and your sense of direction in life. That is destiny swapping, because the more they break you down, the more they take.
✦ So-called friends who hate on you lowkey. Who throw passive-aggressive comments, or little jabs meant to shrink you when you’re shining too bright, because your light triggers their insecurity (major eye roll bc whet?!). They compare themselves to you constantly. And that comparison? It breeds envy. And envy opens the door to energy pulling.
✦ People who want to get close to you pretending to be your friend, but really they’re fans. And here’s the thing: fans have their place. There is nothing wrong with being a fan. In fact fans can boost up your ego and energy fields and expand your presence to help you continue to find your people without doing all the leg work. But fans don’t belong in your inner circle. Because when someone is fascinated by your energy and your life force, it’s not personal - it’s the natural magnetism you hold. And if they haven’t done their work? They will unconsciously drain you. So have proper discernment. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.
✦ Bosses or people at work who drain your creativity, rely on your skills and ideas, but then turn around and make you doubt yourself. They undermine your intuition. They pretend they didn’t hear you when you spoke brilliance into the room. Then they steal credit for what was yours. That is a long-term weathering of your aura. That is destiny swapping at work - breaking you down so that they can rise. Is it loser behavior? ABSOLUTELY & unfortunately that type of behavior is all the rage in the current society we live in.
✦ Community dynamics where you are constantly giving, giving, giving… without proper energetic reciprocity or acknowledgment. You’re the one people come to when they need inspiration, support, or clarity - but nobody pours back into you. Your gifts get mined, your purpose gets used, without your true consent or without true care for what that costs you over time.
And most times it starts subtle. One because people who siphon energy are not truly bold to say/show it upfront. They will try out things here and there to gauge your response and see if they can handle whatever backlash comes, if any at all. They will test to see if your boundaries are solid - if you have any at all. It's that little nudge you feel when you’re around someone and they say something underhanded or slick - something that makes you pause like: “Why would you say that to me?” That’s your intuition alerting you.
It can be a slow weathering process. A little chip here, a little breakdown there. Until your aura has holes. Until your boundaries feel thin. Until you wake up one day tired, disoriented, and disconnected from your own passions. While someone else seems to be living large… off what used to be your spark.
Jealousy, envy, insecurity when unhealed - are all openings for destiny swapping to creep in. People who sit in that energy and don’t do their healing? They will pull on you if you let them. People who have been destiny swapped with or weathered will do the same too because they really just want to feel whole again by any means necessary.
That is destiny swapping.
That is how it happens.
And that is why this work is so crucial.
You know the feeling. You get off the phone with them, or leave their space, and you’re drained. You start noticing that you’ve lost momentum in your own life, your passions feel dim, you’re tired even after sleeping.
And sometimes - now this is real talk: you might be the one who’s been destiny swapping. Sometimes you’re the one who has been pulling on someone else’s energy instead of tending to your own. And this needs to be called out, too. If you’re doing this on purpose? Stop. If you’ve been doing it unconsciously? Wake up to it, and choose a different path. Because anytime you take energy without permission, you are opening your own energetic field to collapse. You are creating chaos in your own life. And you’re blocking your own blessings - because nobody thrives long-term trying to live off someone else’s path.
Permission matters. In The Celestine Prophecy, they talk about how we sometimes lend our energy to others - for a season, with intention - so they can get clarity, so they can express something deeply needed. But that’s with permission. That’s not “let me secretly pull from you because I can’t face my own life.” If you’re taking from others because you think their aura is big and bright and “they won’t mind” - WTF, that’s not okay. And honestly? That’s a distortion of love.
And this world has deeply twisted what it means to love and care for others. That’s why I wrote about it in my essay on bell hooks’ definition of love - because if you don’t understand the actual function of love, how it is meant to be rooted in respect, honesty, accountability, and mutual flourishing… then you will keep calling dysfunction “love.” And you will keep excusing behaviors that should never be tolerated in the name of “love.”
Listen as much as I love being a lover girl, as much as I love showing up for people - sometimes that love can put a target on your back. Especially when you are moving through the world trying to love unconditionally because you think it’s noble and kind. The hard truth is: it’s not. It’s naïve. It’s dangerous.
When you show up as all love, no boundaries - people who haven’t done their work will take. They will pull. They will swap. And you will be the one left depleted, confused about why you’re running on empty.
That is why discernment matters.
That is why energetic boundaries matter.
That is why this practice matters.
If you’re identifying as an empath and saying, “I’m always giving, giving, giving” - that probably means you have a leak in your energetic field. You may have holes in your aura. And if you’re walking around with an open aura like that, trust and believe: people will unconsciously or consciously pull from you. Again that’s not love. That’s an energetic theft. And part of loving yourself is learning to seal those gaps, close those holes, and stand in the fullness of your energy again.
Ok Lo what’s the whole point to this?
Well I decided to just point out the red flags in all of this but to create an EFT script to help you - to help US. I realized in my own meditation that someone I love was trying to destiny swap with me and was coming up short thanks to my boundaries. But that doesnt mean I still wasn’t feeling the tug on my energy, for me it came through as confusion & irritation. And I don't want that for me or you. So here's a list of signals that can show up from your body to get you to tune in & realign:
How It Might Feel If You’re Being Destiny-Swapped With
✦ Irritability
You’re more snappy, edgy, annoyed - and not sure why.
✦ Confusion
It’s hard to think clearly or make decisions. You feel mentally stuck.
✦ Unexplained fatigue
You feel tired, heavy, or drained for no real reason even after rest.
✦ Emotional overwhelm
You’re swinging between sadness, anger, or anxiety and it feels bigger than the moment.
✦ Disconnected from your passions
Things that used to excite you now feel flat or distant.
✦ Restlessness
A constant sense of unease, like something’s off but you can’t quite name it.
✦ Self-doubt
You start questioning yourself or your worth even if that’s not normally how you move.
That is what I meant when I said: you know the feeling.
Your body knows. Your intuition knows. You just have to listen better.
Because sometimes traditional “cord cutting” doesn’t go deep enough. When we’re talking about destiny swapping, the roots can run deeper. You need to address the energy clearly, with love but also with fierce boundaries. No malice. No revenge. But full sovereignty: my energy is mine. My path is mine. Yours is yours. Go live it.
Because when you heal this when you stop giving energy away OR stop taking what’s not yours - you will be able to walk your own path with clarity, power, and joy. That’s how we turn the world right-side up again. That’s what healthy love and healthy connection look like: two whole people, coming together, sharing from their fullness not from desperation or depletion.
If that sounds “aggressive” - oh well. It needs to be said. Destiny swapping is corny AF. Nobody should be trying to pull energy from someone else. We all need to stand in our own worth, our own healing, our own path. Because trying to live through someone else’s light? It’s going to dim you. Every time. Whether you’ve been the one drained, or you’ve been doing the draining—use this as your moment to reset.
This EFT sequence will help you:
✦ cut off destiny-swapping ties
✦ reclaim your energy and life force
✦ rebuild your personal power
✦ protect your field moving forward
✦ bless those involved so everyone can move on in alignment
Come with honesty. Come with love. Come with a clear intention: I’m choosing to walk my own path fully, fiercely, unapologetically. From this moment on.
✨ How to Use This Script
Take a few breaths. Light a candle if you’d like. Say this to yourself:
“Today, I’m doing this for my own peace and power. I release any old connections. I clear out anyone who thought they could pull from me, knowingly or unknowingly. I bless them to go figure their life out, because they will not do it on my energy anymore. And I choose to rebuild and walk my own path fully, clearly, and unapologetically.”
Drink some water & then move into the EFT rounds.
Round 1: Acknowledging What’s Happened
Side of hand (karate chop):
Even though I’ve realized that my energy is being drained.
Even though I can feel that someone I knew, or someone I trusted was pulling on my energy, tapping into my life force in ways they had no right to
Even though I can sense now that my destiny was being tangled up with someone else’s. I release it all for my own well-being, for my peace, for my power.
Top of Head: I’ve witnessed this.
Eyebrow: My energy had been leaking out.
Side of Eye: They were pulling from me.
Under Eye: Tapping into what is not theirs.
Under Nose: Crossing boundaries that should never be crossed.
Chin: And I release that with love, & with strength.
Collarbone: I cut those cords now firm & final.
Underarm: My energy is mine. My life is mine.
Heart: I choose me, and I choose my path.
Round 2: Clearing Residue & Setting Boundaries
Side of hand:
Even though this happened and it wasn’t okay
Even though it left residue in my field
I am clearing it now. I am protecting my peace. I am standing for myself in this moment.
Top of Head: I sweep out anything that’s not mine.
Eyebrow: Anything that was left behind is now gone.
Side of Eye: No more open doors here.
Under Eye: No more access for anyone trying to pull from me.
Under Nose: No more confusion.
Chin: No more shared destiny.
Collarbone: No more old cords left lingering.
Underarm: My energy is whole and sealed.
Heart: My space belongs to me.
Round 3: Rebuilding Energy & Connection to Self
Side of hand:
From this moment forward, I am calling my life back into alignment.
I’m not calling back old energy, I don't need it. I am building new. Strong. Nourished. Rooted in who I am & have always been
Top of Head: I build new energy.
Eyebrow: I connect back to my purpose.
Side of Eye: I center my body, my mind, my spirit.
Under Eye: I let myself be filled with strength.
Under Nose: I choose vitality that honors me.
Chin: I move forward with clarity.
Collarbone: My energy is whole again.
Underarm: My space is sacred.
Heart: My path is mine to walk.
Round 4: Sealing Personal Power
Side of hand:
I claim my power. I move forward knowing who I am, knowing what belongs to me, knowing what never will again.
I seal this space with love for myself and respect for my own journey.
Top of Head: I stand fully embodied in my own energy.
Eyebrow: I trust myself deeply.
Side of Eye: I clearly know what’s mine.
Under Eye: I protect what’s sacred.
Under Nose: I walk my own path hand in hand with my Divine Source.
Chin: I boldly live from my own truth.
Collarbone: My destiny is mine, and mine alone.
Underarm: My power is my own.
Heart: And I thrive effortlessly.
Round 5: Sending Release & Blessing to Others
Side of hand:
And to anyone who thought they needed to pull from me
To anyone who couldn’t see their own worth
I send this message with love:
Get what you need. Do your work. Stand in your own destiny
Because you will never source yourself through me again.
Top of Head: May you heal.
Eyebrow: May you find your own way.
Side of Eye: because I am no longer your source. & never should have been
Under Eye: My life is mine.
Under Nose: My path is mine.
Chin: My energy is mine.
Collarbone: My future is mine.
Underarm: And that’s final.
Heart: And so it is.
Start with the full five-round EFT first.
That’s the one that really clears the energy and sets the boundary.
Once you’ve done that - and you’re feeling stronger, clearer, and more yourself - you can use the maintenance version below anytime you need to keep things steady and clean.
Think of it like this:
The full script is for clearing.
The maintenance version is for keeping destiny yours.
🧿 Maintenance EFT for Keeping Destiny Clear (Quick Daily Reset)
Side of hand:
Even though people have tried to pull from my energy before
Even though cords had been there in the past
Today, I stand in my own energy.
I stand for my path, for my peace, for my power.
Top of Head: My energy is sealed.
Eyebrow: My path is my own.
Side of Eye: No one can pull from me.
Under Eye: I move with clarity and strength.
Under Nose: I release any old attachments.
Chin: I trust myself to keep my space protected.
Collarbone: I walk in my own truth.
Underarm: I choose what belongs to me.
Heart: My life, my power, my destiny - mine and mine alone.
If this tapped something real for you, if this helped you feel clearer, stronger, or more like you again feel free to share this with someone else who might need it too.
And if you do the EFT, I’d love to hear what comes up for you. You can drop a comment below and let me know how it felt.
** Also keep in mind sometimes this kind of destiny swapping has layers to it. You might need to repeat the full script for a few days in a row to really clear all the residue and close the energetic gaps. That’s normal. Take your time. Go at your own pace.
I want us all moving in alignment - with our own energy, our own path, our own light. Period.
I woke up this Venus day with self-devotion on my mind and the agenda. Saw a notification for this after journaling - right on time. Thank you.