BRAIN: What my own seasons of loss revealed about the purpose & gift of grief

and its imprint on the nervous system

Grief will rock your world when you least expect and it never leaves. You will always be grieving in one way or another for the rest of your life. I hope that didn’t scare you away - this is The Dark Divines after all. Grief can often feel like a winding journey that leads us to healing and transformation. In this space, I want to share how my encounters with grief have shaped my path toward grace and joy. My hope is that my reflections resonate with you as you navigate your own journey.

The Complexity of Grief

Grief is not linear. It ebbs and flows like the tides, catching us off guard and sometimes trying to drown us. It can manifest in various forms - sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of relief. These emotions can feel overwhelming, especially when triggered by memories, anniversaries, or significant life events. I’ve felt this profoundly through the loss of my uncle, who was like a father to me, and the experience of miscarriage. Both have deeply impacted my journey and revealed layers of grief I had yet to uncover.

In the midst of these losses, I’ve come to realize that grief is a testament to love. It reflects the depth of our connections with those we have lost and serves as a beautiful reminder of the joy they brought into our lives. Creating space for these feelings is essential. It’s okay to grieve openly and authentically.

Embracing the full spectrum of emotions is key. There are days when the weight of loss feels heavy, and other times when I find sparks of joy in cherished memories. Recognizing that grief and joy can coexist allows us to honor our experiences while moving toward healing. It's a dance between the two -each step bringing us closer to understanding our hearts.

I felt like with all the loss I experienced this year I would never feel peace again - now look at me peacefully flowing through the goodness in grief

The Neuroscience of Grief

Diving into the neuroscience behind grief can be illuminating. Here are two insights that stand out to me:

• Brain Activity: When we experience loss, specific areas of our brain tied to emotional processing and memory light up. The amygdala, responsible for processing emotions like fear and sadness, is particularly engaged. This heightened activity can lead to emotional dysregulation, making it challenging to cope with daily life. By understanding this, we can better appreciate why our emotions may feel so intense during grieving.

• Stress Response: Grief triggers a stress response in our bodies, releasing cortisol and other stress hormones. This biological reaction can bring about physical symptoms like fatigue, changes in appetite, and disrupted sleep patterns. Recognizing this connection reminds us that our emotional and physical experiences during grief are intertwined. Embracing stress management techniques—like mindfulness, deep breathing, and grounding practices - can help us navigate the emotional waves of grief with more grace.

The Journey Toward Grace and Joy

Finding grace amid grief is such a vital part of the healing process. It’s about embracing our emotions without judgment, allowing ourselves to feel deeply while also seeking out moments of joy and connection. This duality can sometimes feel contradictory, but understanding that both elements are integral to our healing journey is essential.

Engaging in practices like meditation, journaling, and even movement can serve as powerful outlets for processing our emotions. These tools create space for both grief and joy, honoring the complexity of our experiences. Mindfulness helps ground us in the present moment, allowing us to observe our emotions without being swept away. Journaling offers a beautiful avenue for expressing feelings, while physical movement helps release pent-up energy and connect us back to our bodies.

And let’s not forget the power of community! Sharing our stories and experiences with trusted friends, family, or support groups fosters a sense of belonging and understanding. It’s a gentle reminder that we’re not alone in our struggles and that healing is not just possible - it’s within our reach.

Grief can also bring us toward greater self-awareness and compassion. By acknowledging our pain, we cultivate resilience and begin to rediscover joy, even after profound loss. Embracing this journey as part of our growth allows us to transform our grief into a source of strength.

you joy comforts your grief, it honors your loss & helps you call in new love

Embracing New Beginnings

As we navigate our grief, let’s be on the lookout for signs of new beginnings. This might mean creating new traditions to honor our loved ones or finding ways to celebrate their lives. These practices can help us discover a sense of purpose and meaning in our grief, allowing us to honor our losses while also embracing the beauty of life.

Ultimately, grief can lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and our capacity for love and joy. By traversing this emotional landscape, we can emerge transformed, holding both the weight of our loss and the light of our love in our hearts.

Journal Prompts for Reflection

To deepen your exploration of grief and healing, consider these journal prompts:

• What emotions arise when I think about my loss? Take a moment to write down the different feelings that come to mind, allowing yourself to explore the nuances of your grief.

• How can I honor my loved one while also embracing moments of joy in my life? Reflect on ways to create new traditions or rituals that keep their memory alive, blending remembrance with joy.

• What practices can I incorporate into my daily routine to help me navigate my grief? Consider mindfulness techniques, creative outlets, or community connections that resonate with you.